THE SCARECROW IN THE LIGHT.
Sometimes I feel there is a glitch in my mindset. I tell myself it’s better to be alone, yet the solitude hits me with a weight I can’t carry. I have friends, but the silence between us feels intentional. Aside from Farhana and Ishal , my phone remains quiet, leaving me to the mercy of my own company. I don’t know if this is trauma or if I’m simply living in the ghost of my past . I used to be an extrovert , a ' borderline exceptional case ' in college, but now I’ve retreated into an introversion I never asked for. I find myself calling friends 24/7, not because I have much to say, but because I am haunted by the silence. I am terrified of being an attention-seeker, yet I am starving for care. There is a specific kind of pain in being the ' scarecrow '—darkly existing in the light while everyone else is busy taking pictures and capturing moments. I am there, but I don’t belong. The most painful part? The carelessness people show toward missed calls. I could never i...